A Prayer

I have stopped blogging for a long time..
N I'm back!
Finally, we get to lead our own lives..
Just the two of us..
In the ride of Life..

What did I do to deserve you?
Your smile, your tickles, your grin..
Your understanding, your challenges..
Your coaching, your passion, your singing,
Your family..
I love you

Thank you, Lord, for binging us together..
I pray that You will continue to guide us through our moment of follies
And continue to bless our relationship with Your Graces..

5 Days

People ask me why I do it?
I do it cos I'm given a gift.
A gift that scares me sometimes.
But it's so wrong not to use it.

Everytime I give, I got something back..
This time I got the greatest gift of all..
I have someone in my Life who loves me..
Who sees me bigger than I see myself..

GLP 64, I salute you.
I'm everything I'm because you love me.

11 Days

Last Sat I finally get to see you sing in a concert,
When you parted your lips,
And your voice came through,
It was as if an angel was singing..
I was speechless..

Saying that I love you,
And experiencing it in me,
Both are so different in experience..
Never felt something so deep..
Such raging emotions!

16 Days

I sat there watching you sing,
Like an angel from high above,
Whom sent by Him to grace the Earth.
Blessed is He who bestow you with such a voice.

The passion in your voice..
The emotions raging..
I could hear them all..
Felt that you were singing to me..

In your arms I lie,
Stretch to the limits..
So much more I can give..
So much more I will give..

Your hands in mine..
Fragile though they feel..
And yet assuring..
Yes, those were the hands that held me up..

I feel so blessed,
Cos you allow me into your space,
Cos you held me up when I crumble,
Cos you demanded the best in me,
Cos you trust me,
Cos you love me.
Thank you

23 Days

You sent me this yesterday via email..

wondering what you're doing
wondering how you are
wondering if you're thinking n missing me
wondering how long more i have to wait

staring at my fone to see if you texted

recalling how it feels to have your hand in mine
recalling how it feels when you call me dear

27 Days

I feel lousy.. I'm feeling lousy cos I let you down. Lousy cos my ego got in the way for me to admit that I struggled to keep awake waiting for you.. I know that I can give more, I can stretch more.. So much more.. When I lay down to rest at the end of the day, I'm drained physically.. And it's the prices I pay, I guess.. Not sure where's the limit cos I don't play by my limits..

35 Days

Woke up at 4.31 am today to turn off my fan cos it was so chilly!
Oh how I wish you were beside me..
To cuddle, to hold, to keep warm..
I miss you so intensely..
35 days more to go..
I love you..

37 Days

You gave me a bookmark, written on it is the very first sms that I posted on my blog. Enclosed with the bookmark is this letter:

DEAREST MARCUS...

Before saying anything else, I must admit & apologise that I was lying when I said I bought the bookmark & that I was cleaning my room. Well, technically. I was cleaning the room cos the table was in a mess after I finished the bookmark. Anyway, I was doing the bookmark for you cos you were getting impatient over it already.

Anyway, I was thinking what I should write on it & then I decided to turn to your blog & copied this msg down cos I thought it was one of the 1st (or the 1st) msg I sent you that struck you. I used my blue junkie pen cos AW was where it all started.

It ain't as flexible, quite thick, nothing all that fanciful but nonetheless, hope you'll like it. May you always smile when you see it and remember our journey in LP.

Jacinta
13 Jun '07 2255hrs

Dear,
thanks for the bookmark.. Yes, it does make smile everytime I look at it. : ) That sms really blew me away.. I will always hold you close to me heart..

39 Days

Some days, I wake up and miss you terribly.
And I ask myself why am I doing this?
The answer that always comes to me is that I'm doing this for you.
Doing this cos I love you.

I'm amaze where this journey has taken us to..
The strength in it is amazing..
I can't wait for it to be free from it reins and soar..
I already can see how beautiful it will be.

41 Days

First time I tasted your cooking yesterday, and first time you cooked for me personally today. I must say you do cook well! And I DEMAND that you cook more often!! Thank you for 'feeding' me! Hehe.. I enjoy shopping groceries with you.. Had a great time cracking jokes and disturbing you! Of cos, you gave as good as you got! Haha..

I'm at the stage where I'm real comfortable with where we are at now. And this is with accordance to the ground rules. I begin to really know you, to build that foundation. This r/s is build upon love, trust, honesty and integrity. I must say, it's not easy.. I have gave my word and I have every intent to keep it! Thank you for being there to support me and for holding me bigger than I'm..

47 Days

You are finally back today..
Am I glad!!
Somehow you being out of the country worries me..
Woke up from a nap feeling really lousy..
Didn't know y..
Just missed you really terribly..
It was as if something slam right on top of me..
Forced myself to focus out..
I just wanna hold you in my arms..

48 Days

I couldn't sleep last night..
Just dread turning into bed..
Kept looking at my phone..
So fearful that I miss your msg..

Even when I was in bed,
I had the phone facing me..
I dread falling asleep..
Cos I might miss your msg..

Every msg or call from you,
Is the only tangible connection to you..
Oh how I miss your touch..
Your hands in mine.

Today as I ran,
Every time my muscles burn,
I think of you..
You spurred me on..

One step at a time...
Every step of the way..
The image of you I hold in my heart, mind and soul..
And my heart soared!

49 Days

I held your hand in front of your friends,
It's my way of affirming my commitment to you,
To hold your precious heart in my hands,
To hold it close to my own heart.

First day of your holiday,
I packed my day with activities,
But it's different cos in the stillness of the moments I miss you..
Sharing them over the phone is different..

My heart yearns for you,
Across time and space it yearns for your balming touch..
I'm counting down to the day you are back..
Counting down to the day when I can hold your hand in integrity..

50 Days

You wrote me this letter early this morning:

Dearest Marcus...
All this years, I've gone overseas for vacations without bothering to pay for the auto-roaming service nor subscribing to it. Hmm... I wanna spend some time pondering about why this time round it's different. LOL... I don't think the reason is that tough to figure out! Haha... and the reason is you. I don't wanna break contact with you for 4 days. I'll go mad just thinking about how you are doing and what you are up to... and ha ha... I know that you'll definitely wanna know how I'd be at the end of the day. So, I'd better get myself contactable.
Dear, I don't know when it was that you stole my heart away but from then till now, you've been such a great form of support to me and you have always always ALWAYS been here to encourage me, to hold me tight when I fall and to smile with me when I am high up in the sky. You asked me 10 questions, "will you miss me during the trip?" My answer is Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. You can rest assure that I'll be thinking of you and missing you a whole bunch. There'll be times I'll feel like booking the next airplane back to Singapore. There'll be times I would wish you were there with me there and then. But I'll keep you in my heart and go have fun 'cos I know that's what you want me to do too. Dear... give all you can to your team and do all and everything that it takes to have every person in your team win. Do it for me... 'cos I wanna come back on Tuesday to find out that results are soaring high and that I don't have to feel bad for going away for 4 days. Just want to thank you for all that you've done and been to me all these while. You've been my peace of mind in this crazy world. I love you & thank God for you.
Jacinta 2/6/07
0120hours

You are such a gift in my life..
It's as if God pluck you from the high heavens and send you to me..
I don't care what pple say..
What's true for me is I'm totally in awe of your stand in my life..

You demanded the best in me..
And yet when I fail you, you still stood for me..
I think the word to describe you is an angel..
I love you..

53 Days

You sent me this yesterday:

Today, i can smile, i can laugh..
Faced with difficulties n frustrations,
i can feel comfort...
Feelings of tiredness r often but yet i can rest in ya arms n feel safe...
My heart is alive,
its beating n opened again.
I'm human again,
a woman again with the ability to receive love n to love...
All becos u believe in me and cos you love me.
Honey... Thank u.

54 Days

You sent me this today:

I miss you..
Which, if u join the dots.
wld imply tt im thinking of u.
And again if u join the dots another time,
u'll know tt imples tt i love you..

60 Days

So many times today I thought about you,
What you were doing,
So many times I glance at the phone,
Resisting the urge to call you,
Cos I know you have to be focus on your work.

I will walk at your pace,
What was your intention, you asked me,
Just to grow with you, I replied,
Cos deep inside me, my heart yearns for you.
Cos I love you.

61 Days

I feel blessed that I got a glimpse of what's behind that diamond wall of your heart,
A wall forged from the hottest of flames,
And now you building that wall again.

I yearn to reach out to you,
To hug you tight,
To hold you in my arms.