I feel so blessed,
Cos you allow me into your space,
Cos you held me up when I crumble,
Cos you demanded the best in me,
Cos you trust me,
Cos you love me.
Thank you

23 Days

You sent me this yesterday via email..

wondering what you're doing
wondering how you are
wondering if you're thinking n missing me
wondering how long more i have to wait

staring at my fone to see if you texted

recalling how it feels to have your hand in mine
recalling how it feels when you call me dear

27 Days

I feel lousy.. I'm feeling lousy cos I let you down. Lousy cos my ego got in the way for me to admit that I struggled to keep awake waiting for you.. I know that I can give more, I can stretch more.. So much more.. When I lay down to rest at the end of the day, I'm drained physically.. And it's the prices I pay, I guess.. Not sure where's the limit cos I don't play by my limits..

New quote:
"One should count each day a separate life." -- Seneca

35 Days

Woke up at 4.31 am today to turn off my fan cos it was so chilly!
Oh how I wish you were beside me..
To cuddle, to hold, to keep warm..
I miss you so intensely..
35 days more to go..
I love you..

Today, I told Mum about Ja. They met before at the Night Safari outing so it is easier for her to figure out who I'm talking about.. Shared with her how God decided to land this angel in my Life. Mum was glowing with a smile cos she knows I won't tell her about someone unless I'm committed to the person!

Shared with her about the AW core programme too. Shared with her why I went back to staff and senior. Her eyes actually watered when I share about my Basic small group, the changes I seen in them over 5 days. Would have love for her to do the course but she can't.

37 Days

You gave me a bookmark, written on it is the very first sms that I posted on my blog. Enclosed with the bookmark is this letter:

DEAREST MARCUS...

Before saying anything else, I must admit & apologise that I was lying when I said I bought the bookmark & that I was cleaning my room. Well, technically. I was cleaning the room cos the table was in a mess after I finished the bookmark. Anyway, I was doing the bookmark for you cos you were getting impatient over it already.

Anyway, I was thinking what I should write on it & then I decided to turn to your blog & copied this msg down cos I thought it was one of the 1st (or the 1st) msg I sent you that struck you. I used my blue junkie pen cos AW was where it all started.

It ain't as flexible, quite thick, nothing all that fanciful but nonetheless, hope you'll like it. May you always smile when you see it and remember our journey in LP.

Jacinta
13 Jun '07 2255hrs

Dear,
thanks for the bookmark.. Yes, it does make smile everytime I look at it. : ) That sms really blew me away.. I will always hold you close to me heart..

39 Days

Some days, I wake up and miss you terribly.
And I ask myself why am I doing this?
The answer that always comes to me is that I'm doing this for you.
Doing this cos I love you.

I'm amaze where this journey has taken us to..
The strength in it is amazing..
I can't wait for it to be free from it reins and soar..
I already can see how beautiful it will be.

41 Days

First time I tasted your cooking yesterday, and first time you cooked for me personally today. I must say you do cook well! And I DEMAND that you cook more often!! Thank you for 'feeding' me! Hehe.. I enjoy shopping groceries with you.. Had a great time cracking jokes and disturbing you! Of cos, you gave as good as you got! Haha..

I'm at the stage where I'm real comfortable with where we are at now. And this is with accordance to the ground rules. I begin to really know you, to build that foundation. This r/s is build upon love, trust, honesty and integrity. I must say, it's not easy.. I have gave my word and I have every intent to keep it! Thank you for being there to support me and for holding me bigger than I'm..

47 Days

You are finally back today..
Am I glad!!
Somehow you being out of the country worries me..
Woke up from a nap feeling really lousy..
Didn't know y..
Just missed you really terribly..
It was as if something slam right on top of me..
Forced myself to focus out..
I just wanna hold you in my arms..

Ran to Sembawang Park today! I ran while Dad cycled.. Okie, not all the way! Ran to the park connector and walked the rest of the way.. My first long distance run in around 3 years.. Thought that I did quite well! Haha.. Just keep the image of the love of my life in my mind every time I wanted to stop.. And just kept putting one foot in front of the other. At the park connector, had a great chat with Dad.. He was sharing with me about how much the place have changed since he was young.

The sea view is beautiful at the end of the run! Oh how I wish I could live on of the houses there! Imagine.. Sea view in front of your main door! Peaceful pier.. Nice restaurant at the end.. What more can one ask?! We were re accounting the times he brought us to Sembawang beach when we were young.. Some of the shelters still look the same! Slightly over 6 weeks and I can bring someone there.. Can't wait to hold your hand as we stroll down the beach..

48 Days

I couldn't sleep last night..
Just dread turning into bed..
Kept looking at my phone..
So fearful that I miss your msg..

Even when I was in bed,
I had the phone facing me..
I dread falling asleep..
Cos I might miss your msg..

Every msg or call from you,
Is the only tangible connection to you..
Oh how I miss your touch..
Your hands in mine.

Today as I ran,
Every time my muscles burn,
I think of you..
You spurred me on..

One step at a time...
Every step of the way..
The image of you I hold in my heart, mind and soul..
And my heart soared!

49 Days

I held your hand in front of your friends,
It's my way of affirming my commitment to you,
To hold your precious heart in my hands,
To hold it close to my own heart.

First day of your holiday,
I packed my day with activities,
But it's different cos in the stillness of the moments I miss you..
Sharing them over the phone is different..

My heart yearns for you,
Across time and space it yearns for your balming touch..
I'm counting down to the day you are back..
Counting down to the day when I can hold your hand in integrity..

50 Days

You wrote me this letter early this morning:

Dearest Marcus...
All this years, I've gone overseas for vacations without bothering to pay for the auto-roaming service nor subscribing to it. Hmm... I wanna spend some time pondering about why this time round it's different. LOL... I don't think the reason is that tough to figure out! Haha... and the reason is you. I don't wanna break contact with you for 4 days. I'll go mad just thinking about how you are doing and what you are up to... and ha ha... I know that you'll definitely wanna know how I'd be at the end of the day. So, I'd better get myself contactable.
Dear, I don't know when it was that you stole my heart away but from then till now, you've been such a great form of support to me and you have always always ALWAYS been here to encourage me, to hold me tight when I fall and to smile with me when I am high up in the sky. You asked me 10 questions, "will you miss me during the trip?" My answer is Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. You can rest assure that I'll be thinking of you and missing you a whole bunch. There'll be times I'll feel like booking the next airplane back to Singapore. There'll be times I would wish you were there with me there and then. But I'll keep you in my heart and go have fun 'cos I know that's what you want me to do too. Dear... give all you can to your team and do all and everything that it takes to have every person in your team win. Do it for me... 'cos I wanna come back on Tuesday to find out that results are soaring high and that I don't have to feel bad for going away for 4 days. Just want to thank you for all that you've done and been to me all these while. You've been my peace of mind in this crazy world. I love you & thank God for you.
Jacinta 2/6/07
0120hours