The Analyzer One

God's Discount

2010-11-06T09:27:00.004+08:00

I'm thankful to have made the effort to get up early yesterday to attend morning Mass despite it being a public holiday. Fr Luke Fong's homily on the gospel reading certainly gave a new learning to Luke 16, the parable of the Dishonest Steward.

What if the 'dishonest' steward that gave discount to his master's debts is Jesus? In our imperfect and sinful ways, there's no way for us to enter the perfection of Heaven. We will always fall short. By our own right, we will never deserve the perfection of God's Love and Heaven. Jesus came and by dying on the cross made up the difference for us. He gave us a 'discount' by dying on the Cross. On further reflection.. In the secular world, especially in Singapore, we go into a frenzy when the Great Singapore Sale comes around. Some of us wait with much anticipation and excitement for the discount. How often do we remember the greatest 'discount' as already been given to us by Christ when the going gets tough? In our moment of trials and tribulations, I pray that we will remember the 'discount' that Christ paid for us by dying on the Cross. Then, maybe, we will be more excited with our journey to God.

Faith or Fate?

2010-10-03T21:47:00.003+08:00

Faith: confidence or trust in a person or thing
Fate: something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot

Had this sense of peace and calm since Sat when I surrendered to His Will.. After Novena, I realise that it's okie for it (the r/s) to be not okie.. It will eventually work out according to His Plan.. I thanked my Guardian Angel for really working over time, guarding me when I was at my lowest point on Thursday.

Today's gospel on Faith was a profound reminder for me. After my experience on Sat, it was as if Christ talking directly to me. If I professed that God's Hands has always been a guiding hand in my life then who I am to question His Plan? How can I forgot the Faith I have in God? I felt His very peaceful presence on me during the whole Mass. I began to see things He put in my Life beyond to obvious.

Thank you Lord for my Guardian Angel, thank you for reminding me to trust in my Father's plan.

Hurt

2010-09-29T22:05:00.002+08:00

My heart pines for you.. Is it suppose to hurt so much? Why am I so emotional about.. It's like a dam broke and the hurt keeps flowing in.. How much more can I take?

Staying Faithfully

2010-09-27T21:53:00.002+08:00

This period of hurt and torment made me reflect on the deeper meaning of being faithfully to someone in the relationship. It's common thinking that being faithful means to be with one person. Maybe it's more than that.. Total faithfulness demands us to go beyond that.. It demands us be stay truth to our commitments no matter how weary the journey. If one substitute the relationship with another 'calling', is that staying true the relationship?

God, in Jesus, show us really what commitment is. I pray that I have the strength to continue to be totally faithfully to thought, word and deed in this time of doubt..

Questions And Answers

2010-09-21T09:03:00.003+08:00

This has been the toughest period in my life.. So much uncertainty and doubts.. Deep down I know it's all part of God's plan.. And because He's perfect, His plan is perfect. Although I don't like this part of His plan, I know it will make me stronger. :)

Many nights were spent praying and listening.. Although I'm troubled, I felt such calmness coming upon me.. My guardian angel and my patron saint must be working over time!

Yes, Lord, your servant is listening..

I'm Back (Maybe)

2008-04-07T10:59:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since I blog.. Lots of things has happened but one thing that is still consistent is how much I love her.. I was in one of my foul moods when it suddenly hit me that it's in the most difficult moments that I love her most deeply. We have begun to talk about bring our relationship to the next level. What, at first, I thought seems to be the natural progression but it's not so. We have something that I have never experience before, can't exactly put in words what 'it' is.. It's just 'It'! I look around me and I see relationships and marriages stagnant or fail around me. I think it just comes down to the 'C' word. COMMITMENT! I learnt that big time in various stages of my AW journey. When the lovey dovey feelings go away, the roses wilt and the clouds are gone, it is commitment that drives a person. The ironic part of it: commitment is about focusing out to someone.

A Prayer

2007-08-13T10:47:00.000+08:00

I have stopped blogging for a long time..
N I'm back!
Finally, we get to lead our own lives..
Just the two of us..
In the ride of Life..

What did I do to deserve you?
Your smile, your tickles, your grin..
Your understanding, your challenges..
Your coaching, your passion, your singing,
Your family..
I love you

Thank you, Lord, for binging us together..
I pray that You will continue to guide us through our moment of follies
And continue to bless our relationship with Your Graces..

5 Days

2007-07-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

People ask me why I do it?
I do it cos I'm given a gift.
A gift that scares me sometimes.
But it's so wrong not to use it.

Everytime I give, I got something back..
This time I got the greatest gift of all..
I have someone in my Life who loves me..
Who sees me bigger than I see myself..

GLP 64, I salute you.
I'm everything I'm because you love me.

11 Days

2007-07-11T10:46:00.000+08:00

Last Sat I finally get to see you sing in a concert,
When you parted your lips,
And your voice came through,
It was as if an angel was singing..
I was speechless..

Saying that I love you,
And experiencing it in me,
Both are so different in experience..
Never felt something so deep..
Such raging emotions!

16 Days

2007-07-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

I sat there watching you sing,
Like an angel from high above,
Whom sent by Him to grace the Earth.
Blessed is He who bestow you with such a voice.

The passion in your voice..
The emotions raging..
I could hear them all..
Felt that you were singing to me..

In your arms I lie,
Stretch to the limits..
So much more I can give..
So much more I will give..

Your hands in mine..
Fragile though they feel..
And yet assuring..
Yes, those were the hands that held me up..

2007-06-29T14:39:00.000+08:00

I feel so blessed,
Cos you allow me into your space,
Cos you held me up when I crumble,
Cos you demanded the best in me,
Cos you trust me,
Cos you love me.
Thank you

23 Days

2007-06-29T14:32:00.000+08:00

You sent me this yesterday via email..

wondering what you're doing
wondering how you are
wondering if you're thinking n missing me
wondering how long more i have to wait

staring at my fone to see if you texted

recalling how it feels to have your hand in mine
recalling how it feels when you call me dear

27 Days

2007-06-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

I feel lousy.. I'm feeling lousy cos I let you down. Lousy cos my ego got in the way for me to admit that I struggled to keep awake waiting for you.. I know that I can give more, I can stretch more.. So much more.. When I lay down to rest at the end of the day, I'm drained physically.. And it's the prices I pay, I guess.. Not sure where's the limit cos I don't play by my limits..

2007-06-17T17:09:00.001+08:00

New quote:
"One should count each day a separate life." -- Seneca

35 Days

2007-06-17T08:14:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 4.31 am today to turn off my fan cos it was so chilly!
Oh how I wish you were beside me..
To cuddle, to hold, to keep warm..
I miss you so intensely..
35 days more to go..
I love you..

2007-06-17T01:10:00.000+08:00

Today, I told Mum about Ja. They met before at the Night Safari outing so it is easier for her to figure out who I'm talking about.. Shared with her how God decided to land this angel in my Life. Mum was glowing with a smile cos she knows I won't tell her about someone unless I'm committed to the person!

Shared with her about the AW core programme too. Shared with her why I went back to staff and senior. Her eyes actually watered when I share about my Basic small group, the changes I seen in them over 5 days. Would have love for her to do the course but she can't.

37 Days

2007-06-15T00:59:00.000+08:00

You gave me a bookmark, written on it is the very first sms that I posted on my blog. Enclosed with the bookmark is this letter:

DEAREST MARCUS...

Before saying anything else, I must admit & apologise that I was lying when I said I bought the bookmark & that I was cleaning my room. Well, technically. I was cleaning the room cos the table was in a mess after I finished the bookmark. Anyway, I was doing the bookmark for you cos you were getting impatient over it already.

Anyway, I was thinking what I should write on it & then I decided to turn to your blog & copied this msg down cos I thought it was one of the 1st (or the 1st) msg I sent you that struck you. I used my blue junkie pen cos AW was where it all started.

It ain't as flexible, quite thick, nothing all that fanciful but nonetheless, hope you'll like it. May you always smile when you see it and remember our journey in LP.

Jacinta
13 Jun '07 2255hrs

Dear,
thanks for the bookmark.. Yes, it does make smile everytime I look at it. : ) That sms really blew me away.. I will always hold you close to me heart..

39 Days

2007-06-13T10:42:00.000+08:00

Some days, I wake up and miss you terribly.
And I ask myself why am I doing this?
The answer that always comes to me is that I'm doing this for you.
Doing this cos I love you.

I'm amaze where this journey has taken us to..
The strength in it is amazing..
I can't wait for it to be free from it reins and soar..
I already can see how beautiful it will be.

41 Days

2007-06-11T18:06:00.000+08:00

First time I tasted your cooking yesterday, and first time you cooked for me personally today. I must say you do cook well! And I DEMAND that you cook more often!! Thank you for 'feeding' me! Hehe.. I enjoy shopping groceries with you.. Had a great time cracking jokes and disturbing you! Of cos, you gave as good as you got! Haha..

I'm at the stage where I'm real comfortable with where we are at now. And this is with accordance to the ground rules. I begin to really know you, to build that foundation. This r/s is build upon love, trust, honesty and integrity. I must say, it's not easy.. I have gave my word and I have every intent to keep it! Thank you for being there to support me and for holding me bigger than I'm..

47 Days

2007-06-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

You are finally back today..
Am I glad!!
Somehow you being out of the country worries me..
Woke up from a nap feeling really lousy..
Didn't know y..
Just missed you really terribly..
It was as if something slam right on top of me..
Forced myself to focus out..
I just wanna hold you in my arms..

2007-06-04T22:35:00.000+08:00

Ran to Sembawang Park today! I ran while Dad cycled.. Okie, not all the way! Ran to the park connector and walked the rest of the way.. My first long distance run in around 3 years.. Thought that I did quite well! Haha.. Just keep the image of the love of my life in my mind every time I wanted to stop.. And just kept putting one foot in front of the other. At the park connector, had a great chat with Dad.. He was sharing with me about how much the place have changed since he was young.

The sea view is beautiful at the end of the run! Oh how I wish I could live on of the houses there! Imagine.. Sea view in front of your main door! Peaceful pier.. Nice restaurant at the end.. What more can one ask?! We were re accounting the times he brought us to Sembawang beach when we were young.. Some of the shelters still look the same! Slightly over 6 weeks and I can bring someone there.. Can't wait to hold your hand as we stroll down the beach..

48 Days

2007-06-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

I couldn't sleep last night..
Just dread turning into bed..
Kept looking at my phone..
So fearful that I miss your msg..

Even when I was in bed,
I had the phone facing me..
I dread falling asleep..
Cos I might miss your msg..

Every msg or call from you,
Is the only tangible connection to you..
Oh how I miss your touch..
Your hands in mine.

Today as I ran,
Every time my muscles burn,
I think of you..
You spurred me on..

One step at a time...
Every step of the way..
The image of you I hold in my heart, mind and soul..
And my heart soared!

49 Days

2007-06-03T02:01:00.000+08:00

I held your hand in front of your friends,
It's my way of affirming my commitment to you,
To hold your precious heart in my hands,
To hold it close to my own heart.

First day of your holiday,
I packed my day with activities,
But it's different cos in the stillness of the moments I miss you..
Sharing them over the phone is different..

My heart yearns for you,
Across time and space it yearns for your balming touch..
I'm counting down to the day you are back..
Counting down to the day when I can hold your hand in integrity..

50 Days

2007-06-02T12:00:00.000+08:00

You wrote me this letter early this morning:

Dearest Marcus...
All this years, I've gone overseas for vacations without bothering to pay for the auto-roaming service nor subscribing to it. Hmm... I wanna spend some time pondering about why this time round it's different. LOL... I don't think the reason is that tough to figure out! Haha... and the reason is you. I don't wanna break contact with you for 4 days. I'll go mad just thinking about how you are doing and what you are up to... and ha ha... I know that you'll definitely wanna know how I'd be at the end of the day. So, I'd better get myself contactable.
Dear, I don't know when it was that you stole my heart away but from then till now, you've been such a great form of support to me and you have always always ALWAYS been here to encourage me, to hold me tight when I fall and to smile with me when I am high up in the sky. You asked me 10 questions, "will you miss me during the trip?" My answer is Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. You can rest assure that I'll be thinking of you and missing you a whole bunch. There'll be times I'll feel like booking the next airplane back to Singapore. There'll be times I would wish you were there with me there and then. But I'll keep you in my heart and go have fun 'cos I know that's what you want me to do too. Dear... give all you can to your team and do all and everything that it takes to have every person in your team win. Do it for me... 'cos I wanna come back on Tuesday to find out that results are soaring high and that I don't have to feel bad for going away for 4 days. Just want to thank you for all that you've done and been to me all these while. You've been my peace of mind in this crazy world. I love you & thank God for you.
Jacinta 2/6/07
0120hours

2007-05-31T11:44:00.000+08:00

New quote:
"It is our choices... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -- J. K. Rowling

2007-05-29T11:57:00.000+08:00

You are such a gift in my life..
It's as if God pluck you from the high heavens and send you to me..
I don't care what pple say..
What's true for me is I'm totally in awe of your stand in my life..

You demanded the best in me..
And yet when I fail you, you still stood for me..
I think the word to describe you is an angel..
I love you..

53 Days

2007-05-29T08:50:00.000+08:00

You sent me this yesterday:

Today, i can smile, i can laugh..
Faced with difficulties n frustrations,
i can feel comfort...
Feelings of tiredness r often but yet i can rest in ya arms n feel safe...
My heart is alive,
its beating n opened again.
I'm human again,
a woman again with the ability to receive love n to love...
All becos u believe in me and cos you love me.
Honey... Thank u.

54 Days

2007-05-28T15:05:00.001+08:00

You sent me this today:

I miss you..
Which, if u join the dots.
wld imply tt im thinking of u.
And again if u join the dots another time,
u'll know tt imples tt i love you..

60 Days

2007-05-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

So many times today I thought about you,
What you were doing,
So many times I glance at the phone,
Resisting the urge to call you,
Cos I know you have to be focus on your work.

I will walk at your pace,
What was your intention, you asked me,
Just to grow with you, I replied,
Cos deep inside me, my heart yearns for you.
Cos I love you.

Last Effective Working Day

2007-05-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

Today is my last effective working day in Ah Kong's Company. Cleared up most of the outstanding stuff.. I have only 3 more working days! Just enough time to do the necessary clearance.. I think I will be bored by the time I start work at my new place! Ha ha..

61 Days

2007-05-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

I feel blessed that I got a glimpse of what's behind that diamond wall of your heart,
A wall forged from the hottest of flames,
And now you building that wall again.

I yearn to reach out to you,
To hug you tight,
To hold you in my arms.

63 Days

2007-05-19T22:59:00.001+08:00

Last night you almost collapsed in my arms,
I saw you stretching beyond your limit,
How can I push you even more?

The only way for the r/s to work is for me to be a senior now,
Yes, I want you to win.
I have no methods, except trusting my heart.

Today's your 'need for space' day,
I guess you need a breather to find yourself.
As usual, I will be outside of the cave waiting for you.

Parting From Comfort Zone

2007-05-18T12:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening, I took some big risk. Typed out my resignation notice, sign it and left it on my boss's table. Did that even though there was no confirmation offer letter from my new employers. I just took a leap. Just got a call today about the confirmation letter. Everything is order. Can't help but feel excited about the future!

64 Days

2007-05-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

First time with you in church,
Your presence beside me,
So peaceful, so blessed I felt.

Your soothing singing,
The passion in your voice,
I hear it all.

I wonder how it would be,
Just the two of us,
And the path of Life ahead of us.

Now that you decided,
Your fragile heart in my hands,
And mine in yours.

65 Days

2007-05-17T18:05:00.000+08:00

You sent me this today:

Talking to you..
Is like a rainbow amidst a storm, an oasis in a dessert..
Is like air that i breathe, simple n life-giving.
From the minute i made my stand to say i want this,
i've allowed myself to fell in love with u.
No more resisting, no more hesitation.
Take care of this fragile heart of mine.
Take care of it to the best that u can n i on my part hv this same intention with your heart.
Smile..

2007-05-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

On Sunday..
As you lie on my lap,
I could feel your soft breathing,
You were so tired..
Can never forget your scent..
That fruity flowery scent..

Outside your house,
I opened my heart,
Totally risking like never before,
Totally honest and scared,
Only one reason why I did it,
Only one reason is cos I love you.

Love, a feeling that goes against reason,
Against logic, against how the world is,
I don't care!
Cos what is real for me is loving you.

67 Days

2007-05-15T14:45:00.000+08:00

Sent you this yesterday..

In the midst of a busy buzzing day,
your message, your voice
allows me a breather..
In that stillness of the moments,
your presence gives me strength..

Ah Kong's Company No More

2007-05-11T10:03:00.000+08:00

I'm finally leaving my comfort zone. Going back to where I started. I have come a full circle. It's sad to leave but it's time.. No more bug warrior, I will be riding on the edge of health care!

New quote:
"It is not enough to aim; you must hit." --Italian Proverb

72 Days

2007-05-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

I sat there while you toiled on,
How can I not do something about it?
How can just watch you stretch when I don't?
Heh, in truth I enjoyed myself,
Your animated gestures and expressions,
Your laughter, that sparkle in your eyes.
When I see all that,
How can I be bored?

74 Days

2007-05-08T11:36:00.000+08:00

Last night, you asked me what I will blog about,
I told you, I will blog about you,
About how I feel His Presence when I'm in your space.
Your smile left me glowing,
Your laughter continue to ring my ears.

I like it when you are lying in my arms, resting..
Cos you are just so tired,
Thank you for being real in my space.
Thank you for allowing me to be real in your space.
Thank you for being the gift you are in my Life.

75 Days

2007-05-07T00:23:00.000+08:00

I made my stand again today..
There's someone else whom I care for more..
Someone who supported me when my energy is sap..
I'm thankful for that 'someone'.

76 Days

2007-05-06T16:46:00.000+08:00

Caught Spiderman 3 with her last night.
Could see she was so tired and need to lean on to something.
I decided to lay her head on my shoulders..
It felt good when she did that..
Her hair against my cheeks..
The scent of her shampoo..
It was nice..

You asked me what I'm think about..
I said I couldn't say..
And you immediately understood.
I was thinking about you.
About last evening when I was at Mass and you were singing..
About how I prayed for strength and wisdom in our relationship.
I asked for His Blessing, and to watch over us..

2007-05-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

New quote:
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders." -- Sloan Wilson

79 Days

2007-05-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

You made your stand cos I slipped,
it's time for me to set the standard.
Going to turn my feelings away from you.
Not that I don't have feelings.
But as senior,
I have to be impartial, clear and come from a clean space.
Whatever it takes for you to win!

2007-05-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

You blew me away with your actions tonight..
That smile, the hugs that I needed so much,
The scent and touch of your hair,
your tears, your honesty
your vulnerability,
your love.

You are beautiful in my eyes,
I love you.
Thank you

2007-05-02T20:40:00.000+08:00

I just heard a song on Class. The words just hit me again and again. "I finally found someone.." Soppy stuff but that what I feel now.. Feelings I have to hold in my heart. I guess that makes it even more special and precious.

81 Days to go!

2007-05-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

This is it like my first email to you that I can't send til the 22nd July.. Couldn't wait til the end of the day, just had to find a comp to type this! I will cut and paste this when I set up a blog for this.. Yeah, need this or I will explode!! You just sms me that you cried cos you are already missing me! I'm barely holding my emotions lah! Missing your voice already.. Going to miss talking to you before I sleep.. Yeah, maybe this is God's bigger plan.

'Season might change, winter to spring. But I will always love you until the end of time. Come what may".
Thanks for loving me in return.

A Journey To Remember

2007-04-29T00:02:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I blog.. Have been really busy: I'm LP 64! It has been 3 weeks, I feel honoured and bless to be able to work with people who have big dreams!

New quote:
"Just because something doesn't do what you planned, it doesn't mean it's useless." -- Thomas A. Edison

A Week of Giving

2007-03-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

It was a week of giving, stretching myself. I'm honoured to be work with people who are brave enough to work at advancing their lives. I'm truly humbled..

New quote:
"If you don't risk, you risk even more." -- Erica Jong

A Crazy Five Days

2007-03-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

WOW!! Long time since I posted anything! It was been a crazy weekend! I'm deeply honoured to be in the presence of people who wanted to do some work.. To be able to look into their faces and know the impact I have in their lives! I'm excited cos all I see are possibilities! I'm my small group and my small group is me.. I'm SB 66..

New quote:
"Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such." -- Henry Miller

A New Level

2007-03-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

She flew off yesterday.. After throwing her tantrums for one week, she msg me to ask me over the night before she flew off.. Honestly, I was surprised! We spend precious time together.

I couldn't be there to see she off because of the grounding for the staffing.. I like where we are at now.. Most importantly what's next?

A Team to Behold!

2007-02-27T07:25:00.000+08:00

Hooray!! SB66 staffing team is chosen! And I'm SB66!! I'm so blessed to be among giants and to be entrusted to be the tip of the instrument that wil make such a difference in the lives of someone's love ones..

New quote:
"Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries." -- Corita Kent

A Great Night Out

2007-02-24T12:09:00.000+08:00

Met up with the NSMC gang for dinner.. Wow! It has been like 3-4 years since I last saw some of them.. And we went to CHIJMES for drinks at Cosafe Maid Cafe where they took a Jap concept of dressing up the waitress in maid costumes.. Kinda kinky, but it's over rated lah! Can't stand the 'act cute' act! Argh.. We walk down to SHIM after that.. Some cantopop pub.. Shared a bottle of Chives amoung the five of us.. Nothing much.. Played some dice game.. Haha..

Oh ya, I sent in my LOI to staff Advance in March! Haha.. Come what may!!

New quote:
"Anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given." -- Deepak Chopra

A Web Discovery

2007-02-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

Discovered this website when I was looking up a quote and came across this:

"To will is to select a goal,
determine a course of action that will bring one to that goal,
and then hold to that action till the goal is reached.
The key is action" -- Michael Hanson

I will post meaningful quotes here to inspire! Haha..

A CNY to remember

2007-02-21T21:59:00.000+08:00

Phew! CNY just gone passed just like that.. Did the usual visiting, I was acutely aware that's she not by my side.. Reunion dinner was just with Dad.. Oh, how I miss her presence! Had daily phone calls and SMS from her but it's not the same.. Woke really early on 20th (yesterday) to see her arrive at the airport.. Was rewarded with her big wide sleepy smile. Went back to nap for awhile, before going down to her place.. Walked around abit and shopped for groceries..

I realise today that she's flying off next week.. Time just files by when you are with the person you love.. Today's Ash Wed, as I knelt down to pray, I prayed that He will look over us, and give us strength and wisdom in our relationship..

A Day of Interesting Advice

2007-02-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

She flew off to Spain on eve of V. day.. Sigh.. Nothing new to miss important dates with her..

Went out for drinks with Kate.. Same advice as giving by KL: keep my options open and I know what to do, just have do it... Yeah.. Going to do that for now..

A Day of Crowds

2007-02-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Settled the paperwork with the agency on Monday.. I'm so impressed they still remember me! Kept my records too! Brought her along.. Had to take instant photos for my card.. Err.. Very untidy hair!! Headed to Tangs to look for a tea mug I saw in a newspaper feature.. Didn't buy it, didn't look impressive.. Haha..

Went to Chinatown with her after.. Oh mine! The crowds! We walked around and she was looking out for some CYN decorations for her home.. And I found my tea mug, cheaper and look better than the one at Tangs.. Was looking for one for a long time.. Finally got it..

A Wedding to Remember!

2007-02-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

Attended the wedding of Loon and Jee on Sun.. Went in the morning to witness the ceremonial portion.. I had attended Muslim weddings before but this is a first between two different customs.. Loon couldn't understand Malay or Jawi so the official translated into English anything that was said in the other two languages.. Very interesting!

The dinner was different too.. Wedding on the beach, literally! Haha.. LP 51 turned up in force! Over two tables were taken up by us! I miss you all! Even Hocks, the one SMS woman, came out the woodwork to attend! It was good fun.. And yes, we had the Yum Seng! Wahaha.. It was a great dinner good food and good company! Oh! My dear Buddy, Judy flew in the wedding and she brought in a bottle of Chilean wine for me! Thanks!! I'm reaping the benefits of having an overseas Buddy.. Haha..

A Dining Experience

2007-02-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

Had our V. Day dinner on Sat suspending at least 60m above mean sea level.. Yes! We were having Sky Dining! The setting was really good.. It was just two of in the that tiny cable car cabin.. She was at first a bit apprehensive but soon got into the flow.. The small area just forces us to talk.. Talk about how we really feel about reach other.. Really talk about where we are going to be in the next 3 years at least.. It end with a bouquet of lilies.. She was really touched.. Could see her eyes tearing..

Caught a movie after the dinner.. She was carrying the flowers proudly in Vivo City and HabourFront! Noticed a few stares.. No wonder women love flowers! The attention they get from it! Haha..

A Strategic Move

2007-02-10T00:53:00.000+08:00

Had some news that my job scope might change or be shifted to another place.. Oh well, called to the agency to re-register.. So surprise that they still remember me! By name! Gosh! It has been so long!! Well, going to do some assignments, hopefully in research..

Tomorrow is the day.. My intention is to get clarity on where we stand.. My stand haven't change.. She has been shaky.. I can't risk it all if she's like that.. Have been taking a more laid back approach now..

A Waste Of Time

2007-02-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

Reported to Tanglin on Thurs.. What a waste of time! The I/O was busy so asked us to have breakfast. We troop over to KKWCH for breakfast.. Came back, she still too busy! Said she would come down to the station.. Seems like they are taking it easy.. Small case? Sorry, Mdm! I'm not going to be there! You are welcome to interview me in MY office..

A Day of Decisions

2007-02-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

Was on EMS duty last night.. Got a walking stick thrown at me! Wat's up, man?! I'm only there to help!! Haha.. Had dinner at the new food court at Funan Square at L5. Ordered clay pot curry chicken. I must say it was the worst curry I ever eaten! The curry was so diluted! Obviously, they diluted it because they run out curry, I saw them tilting the pot to serve.. When up to the stallholder and told her off.. I don't mind if you run out but please don't compromise and serve sub-standard food! Not in SG!!

Oh! The family made a police report.. And I was told to head down to Tanglin to give a statement..

Suppose to meet her for dinner today, but as she decided throw her tantrum and walk off! Well, I decided that we should just trash things out on Sat. since the dinner is already paid for. The ball is in her court to decide if she wants to face up to what's happening. I love her but no point if she wants to be destructive.. It just hampers our personal growth.. If we are going our separate ways, I want to leave things better off compared to when we started..

Michy and I seem to be in the same boat.. Funny how things happens..

A Random Thought

2007-02-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

Once there were 4 Wong Fei Hongs in SA52..

One is flying off to the butt of Down Under tomorrow..

One is marrying this weekend..

One is 'lost' at sea..

And one is still here!

A Mid-Night thought

2007-02-05T07:28:00.000+08:00

People can't change..

We just have to shift our points of views so that Life looks brighter..

It takes practise, it's sometimes painful and it's forever ongoing.. It's essential and important..

Or we will be forever unhappy with what's happening in our Life because of the baggages we carry..

A Good Week

2007-02-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

Was on EMS duty on Tues, attended to this accident where a car passenger open the door in the middle of a busy road. A motorcyclist promptly flew over! Gosh! Don't people think before they do some thing?! The best part was that particular passenger was totally nonchalantly yakking away in her mobile phone! Don't think it was her lawyer on the phone!

She might be going to Sydney to work.. RMIT replied but she didn't want.. Gosh, she's going to be away again! I rather for her to be in Monash.. Gee.. We can pick strawberries if I visit her during the season!! Handled the arrangements for V. Day, hopes she will like it.. She will be in Spain during that time so we will have it on the 10th.. It's our 1 year, 2 months anniversary.

Handle some staffing issues too.. I'm all set to staff.. Just got to pick me and unleash me.. Ready to contribute!

A Busy Week

2007-01-28T14:54:00.000+08:00

Wow! A week has gone by in a flash.. It's always my busiest week of the year.. Yeah.. Attended a wedding dinner last evening.. First time we attended as a couple.. Thank God she didn't throw any last min tantrums. Better the one last week.. Surprise that NONE of the other classmates were there.. Not invited? Strange..

A Lousy End To A Good Day

2007-01-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

It was her friend's birthday, so had a Chinese Dinner thing (again!) in Bukit Merah.. Manage to find a movie to watch, Apocalypto at GV Grand and bought tickets at AXS machine. We were on the way there when I mention that I might be switching jobs in the same Company and I might need to travel 2-3 times a year, less than a week each time. And she threw a tantrum because she wasn't happy I would be away! She just boarded the bus without saying anything! I was so pissed! Just took a cab there. Call her a few times but she refused to tell me where she is. She and her tantrums!!

A Start of The Weddings

2007-01-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

Went to a wedding on 20th, Sat.. Utter disappointment.. Lousy food.. Poor service.. Lousy planning.. The only thing going was good company.. I actually arrived early for a Chinese Wedding Dinner.. Bad mistake because they never start on time!! Learnt my lesson, will bring a book along next time! Oh! Another first for me: they recycle the card that holds the menu! Can you beat that?? I know it's environmentally friendly stuff but please! Don't get me started on the service.. The waitress hands were had tremors while she was carrying the dishes out!

Well, this is the first weddings for the year.. Many more to come.. There goes my money!

A Day of Doubts Cleared Up

2007-01-20T11:01:00.000+08:00

Meet up with her friend's friend.. Some financial advisor.. Had an interesting chat.. I think it's the first time I seriously thinking about marriage, family etc.. In fact, we had talk about our views about marriage, family etc.. the night before..

I can see crossroads ahead of me.. Choices I have to make, choices that will have a major impact in my Life.. I promise to myself, whatever choices I make, it will be true to myself.

A Day of Updates

2007-01-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Judy flew in yesterday for just one day.. Met up with Jee at the same time.. J n J! Haha.. Judy got me some really wonderful tasting buns from Philippines. Hmmm.. The benefits of having an overseas buddy! Haha..

Met up for XY's farewell.. Going to miss his sense of humour! Great company, good food! I realise miss you all! Well, see you at Jee's wedding.. On the way back home, was talking to XY and Azlina abt staffing.. Can't wait to staff! Strange to get excited over pple I don't even know yet! Haha..

Oh yeah.. The NEA course is on track.. Got to handle the payment!

A 'Admin Tying-Up' Day

2007-01-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

Today was a day of admin tie-up.. Lots of meetings and touching of bases..

The Company's biggest international event is happening in 2 weeks. My role? Like last year, making sure the event proper run smoothly.. This is my 2nd year, more experience but nevertheless, there will be always heart-stopping, balls dropping moments that are beyond our control. Must say I damn proud to be part of it!

Tried to sign up for the NEA course online.. Had problems, the best part was the person in-charge was away until tomorrow! Still amazes me that the helpline can go unmanned! I just expect better from a Stat Board!

I have finally fill up the LOI to staff in Mar! Yeah, come what may!

A Foodie Course Coming Up

2007-01-10T20:21:00.000+08:00

Suppose to be out for dinner today..

It has been one year and one month..

Called and msg her umpteen times throughout the day..

Only replied one msg, called me in the evening to enquire where I'm before slamming the phone resoundingly on me..

That's why I'm here blogging..

Oh well, not going to dwell on it anymore..

Decided to enrol for a course today in an area on fringe of my job scope: Food Hygiene Officer Course, conducted by NEA. It's happening at the end of Feb. It's going to be paid by the Company with the course fund. Free! Should be interesting!

I'm really slanted to staff Basic in Mar..

If she flies off during that week, then so be it?

Time to do something for myself?

A Re-Start

2007-01-09T22:23:00.000+08:00

Started blogging when I was started my journey in AW, 28th June 2005.. I will always remember the day I step into the room.. Never saw myself completing LP. It was a blast working with people who really kick ass and never accepting anything unless it's done in excellence.

LP 51, this quote is for you: A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.

Anyway, that was a year back.. Funny how I keep coming to complete circle, like how I got back with the One... Yeah, she always been the One as much as I was trying to deny it.. Who knws what the future holds.. I knw my stand! The Oak Tree Me!

Now trying decide if I wanna staff in Mar or Apr Basic. Yeah, about to time to get my butt off the chair and start 'paying forward'..